Safari Sanity

I thought I would bring some clarity to the African safari experience as some of the comments from yesterday’s post mentioned “bet your kid's thought it was great”, “how cool”… “my boys would be in heaven”...

Having spent over a decade working in Africa (many short-term trips prior to moving here full time) I’ve been on many safaris. For that I am thankful but I’ve also learned a few things. Where there is some euphoric state one finds themself in when locating animals in the wild the 3 hours cooped up in a car driving around to find those animals can provoke temporary insanity. ESPECIALLY when children ages 5 and under are cooped up in the same vehicle. Thus the reason this was our first trip to Kruger for such an extensive safari experience involving our kids. And quite frankly, I would have probably waited a few more years had the ‘deal’ not been so great and Rich’s parents here.

Typically the best game viewing is early in the morning or at dusk. Meaning you get to the park when gates open and in our case that was 5:30 a.m. Now you know I am not a morning person but when that euphoric state kicks in I go into ‘driver’ mode and by golly we were at the gate at 5:30 a.m. The travel mugs full of coffee helped with the wake up call.

So imagine 4 adults and 3 children under the age of 8 all crammed into one vehicle at 5:30 a.m. and the intention is to remain that way for at least 2 hours but likely it will be more like 3. Sound like heaven now?

Here is where my learning comes in. Most important lesson learned, if at all resist the euphoric state and just don’t do it with kids ages 5 or under especially if one of them is a rambunctious boy. It is like a drug that starts out with an awesome high but quickly leaves you sick and in a delirious state (not that I would know personally but so I have heard). But if you just cannot resist there are 2 quintessential components that must accompany your trip if there is any hope at all of easing the inevitable delirium. I reiterate these are MUSTS!

One, bring LOTS of snacks. Not one or two items but a boatload and the unhealthier the better as it prolongs the enjoyment and buys you more viewing time. And I am sure it is goes without stating that drinks must accompany the snacks however don’t overdo it on the drinks unless you have a bathroom onboard. To date, I have never seen an RV drive through the parks so the likelihood of a bathroom, other than the bush where the wild animals dwell, is highly unlikely.



Two, bring a portable DVD player with headset and more than 3 hours worth of viewing entertainment. Listen to me when I say the poor eyesight this may cause is worth the peace and quiet that this is sure to create for your hours of game viewing. Aren’t glasses these days inevitable anyway?

These are tried and proven tips that I just tried and my kid’s proved. We had relatively enjoyable game drives thanks to snacks filled with sugar and transfatty acids and hours of unhealthy movie viewing at an eye to screen distance of 12 inches.

Safari Franzen style anyone?