The week sure flew by and I must say I am glad it is over! It is 6:00 (RSA time) Friday night and I am already in my pajamas. That gives you and idea of the kind of week I have had and/or how pitiful my social life is.I’ve also consumed a large cinnamon roll, had 3 cups of caffeine (I’ve been down to 1) and the most nutritious part of my dinner was a Kit Kat bar. To give you an idea of the rarity of the latter.…I typically only eat a candy bar a year. I guess I met my quota for 2006.
Nothing catastrophic has happened this week (other than the events on Capitol Hill), in fact there has been much good and blessing in it. I’ve just found it physically and emotionally exhausting thus perpetuating “one of those days” moods. During times like this when the sugar and caffeine high wears off I find that laughter usually pulls me out of my slump.
Years ago at a leadership camp, I was engaged in a ropes course element consisting of walking on a very thin rope 20 feet off the ground with only another very thin rope above me to hold onto. This was not a comfortable exercise for me whatsoever as I don’t enjoy heights. This being the case I asked my comical ropes partner (who was on the ground encouraging me) to do something to help me get my mind off the task at hand. Mr. Comedian, who many of you know, Matt Olson decided he would sing me a song. It went something like this… “Michelle, Michelle, fee, fi, fo, FELL”…followed by “Oops…umm…sorry!” He definitely got my mind off my fear although I laughed so hard I nearly plummeted to the ground.
I say all that to say, “Help me get out of my slump…..make me laugh?” Share a joke, your most embarrassing moment, a funny (short) story, a riddle…anything that might put a smile on my face and all those reading!
“Laughter doeth good like a medicine!”
13 comments:
Sorry Matt & Molly for not inserting links to your blogs....not sure how to do that one yet. 'Mrs. Blog IT'(Karen), perhaps you can help me....you also need to leave a humorous comment though too. I know you can put a smile on my face!
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.
Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
One for Blake:
Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogey in it!
KNOCK KNOCK
Who's There?
Arthur
Arthur who?
Arthur more cookies in the jar?
I got these from a kids' joke site...hope they make you smile!!
I'll email you, Michelle. Ms. Arnold helped me the first time I inserted links in my sidebar, and then when I changed my template one day I was stumped about the codes... So, Beth had to do mine--hahaha! I'm not as brilliant as I may have appeared on my blog. Ssshhh, don't tell anyone else that--cause I'm kind of liking the attention.
OK here's one for ya:
Answering machine message at a Mental Hospital
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Thank you!
Come on Michelle, one candy bar a year? Are you really my daughter? Here's one for you:
A Pastor really wanted to go golfing on Sunday so he got someone to fill his pulpit and drove to a course 3 hours away so no one would know him.
The devil talked to God and said God should take care of him (punish him) and God agreed.
So he tees off and low and behold he gets a hole in one.
The devil says "God, I thought you were going to punish him?" and God replys:
"Think about it - who can he tell?"
Mom
HEY THERE! What a treat to hear from you - how often I think about you - seriously! and I FREQUENTLY find myself humming "michelle michelle bo bell..." Ahhh - the memories of that FREEZING ropes course and Matt.
I have a joke (found on the bathroom of the ladies room at Arrowhewad Elem in Broken Arrow).
There was a boy sitting next to a priest on the bus. The boy noticed that his collar was on backwards and pointed it out.
The priest said, I'm a Father." The boy said, "My father doesn't wear his collar backwards."
The priest said, "I'm a Father of many."
The boy said, "My father has 4 boys, and 3 girls and he doesn't wear his collar backwards."
The priest was now getting irritated and said, " I am a Father of hundreds."
The boy looked at him and said, "Maybe you should try wearing your pants backwards instead of your shirt."
Now if you know how much I hate typing, you'll know how much I love you.
Mattyooo
That's the link. I'll email you the code--then you can copy and paste it into your post.
Michelle, this is SUCH a great post because now we can all click back to it when we need a laugh—what great responses you've generated!
STILL laughing outloud a Ginger's mishap . . . and the one of you and Matt!:)
Oh, and if I think of anything funny, I'll return.
Oh, my I have laughed so hard it hurts. Thank you, you have definitely put a smile on my face.
Okay mom, maybe 2 candy bars a year...swwwweeet not only have I laughed a lot today I can eat another candy bar.
True stories about my 3 year old (who is a pill): (planning to put these on my blog soon)
In the back seat of the car:
Jack: Mom, God is so nice to make the trees so pretty with red and yellow leaves.
Ben: Me no wike God. (I don't like God.) (just looking for a reaction)
In the bath the other night:
Ben has a small rubber ball IN HIS MOUTH! I don't even know where it came from.
Me: Ben! Give me that ball! I don't ever want you to put things like this in your mouth! You could choke!
Ben: (without missing a beat) Me wanna go Heaben. (heaven)
Me: Well, son, today's not your day.
...hopefully you can laugh at my life, because sometimes it's a struggle for me to laugh in those moments!
So glad my husband could bring some good memories for you!! I need to give him your link. As for something humorous... the other day, Kate gave her teacher a prayer request. For her sick sister. That she doesn't have. Should I be upset that my child is MAKING UP PRAYER REQUESTS? : )
I just read this and thought you might enjoy! Miss you my friend...
Shonna
******************
Airplane Repairs
******************
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a
high school diploma to fix one (reassurance for those of us
who fly routinely in our jobs).
After every flight, Qantas (Australia's major airline) pilots fill
out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about
problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the
problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be
said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some
actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an
S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never,
ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Here's something that made me laugh the other night: My family love to watch Americas Funniest Videos and we were all watching AFV the other night. There was a clip of some frat boys diving into a blow-up pool full of jello. I didn't even notice the audience standing around them watching until Will turned around a said so seriously, "Why are only the boys jumping in? The girls should jump in there too!" I'm not sure why but my husband laughed really hard also. All this from the 6 year old that insisted on wearing Axe body spray to his first day of first grade because he saw on a commercial..."this guy sprayed it on him and all these girls started coming after him...and well...I think I really need some of that for my first day of school. Will you go to the store and buy me some with my school supplies?" :) Welcome to my world!
I totally remember that weekend. It was so freakin' cold. What an incredible group of people!
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